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Odd placement in the 'background' section.

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Why is this sentence

Éomer of Rohan said that the Lady Arwen was fairer than the Lady Galadriel of Lórien, but Gimli son of Glóin thought differently.

in the middle of her background, when it's discussing her genealogy? It'd be better placed at the beginning of that section, then move on to her heritage, then out to the next paragraph. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 2601:547:A00:6450:D63:DA38:F58C:B7FB (talk) 07:30, 15 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Arwen/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Guettarda (talk · contribs) 23:36, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm happy for the opportunity to review this. Thanks for nominating it! Guettarda (talk) 23:36, 24 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for taking this on, I'll get to the (very useful) comments promptly. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:04, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • I think the lead section is too short and I don't feel like it gets the balance quite right. She is notably the daughter of Elrond and granddaughter of Galadriel, but I feel like mentioning Tuor in the lead is a bit of a stretch. Although she is underutilised in the LoTR, she still doesn't things, while in this lead all she does is live, marry and enrich a bloodline.
Added descriptions of Elrond and Galadriel; and described her role in Jackson's film series.
  • I also think the statement thus adding long life and nobility to his dynasty is a tad iffy. It's not mentioned in the body of the article, and while Eldarion and his sisters have to live pretty long to outlive Aragorn, I don't know if their longevity is attributed to Arwen's blood, as opposed to Aragorn's "renewal" of the Numenorean character of the dynasty. It's been decades since I pored over the books, and I may be totally mistaken, but this needs a citation.
It's correct, but I agree it's not needed in the lead.

Narrative

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  • Youngest child of Elrond and Celebrian doesn't have enough context for a reader who isn't deeply versed in the mythology. In this case I think it's worth mentioning Elrond as lord of Rivendell or leader of the high elves. Enough to remind casual fans of the movies who he was.
Good idea, done.
Fixed.
  • The Evenstar is bolded in the fifth paragraph for no apparently reason.
Unbolded.
  • The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen is linked three times in this section.
Fixed.

Background

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  • "long-sundered" is the kind of language Tolkien uses, but not the kind of straightforward language that's usual for Wikipedia.
Yes, fixed.
  • Is "Three Kings of the High Elves" capitalised in the source material?
Fixed.

Adaptations

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  • The films portray Arwen as becoming human through her love for Aragorn; as in the novel, she follows the choice of her ancestor Lúthien to become a mortal woman for the love of a mortal man - do they really? I remember Arwen seems to surrender her mortality to revive Frodo at the Ford of Bruinen (which I always found weird). If that's what the source says, sure, but I'm a little curious.
Yes, it's right. Arwen's choice is to marry Aragorn, a mortal Man though with Elvish blood from many generations back, see the family tree. Her father Elrond is opposed, but says she may (a la fairytale King to his Daughter) on condition that ... he just becomes king of all of Gondor and Arnor. In the book, Arwen has nothing to do with the Bruinen episode.

Other

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  • Those four one-sentence paragraphs look choppy. Could you combine some of these?
Done.

References

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  • In the "Primary" section, the first 11 refs are short-form, while 12-16 are full refs.
Fixed.
  • Refs 11 and 13 appear to be the same
Ah, tricky, T13's in a template! Named and merged them.
  • The Two Towers is listed in the "Sources" section, but it doesn't seem to be referenced in the article. The movie is, but the book isn't.
Removed.

Guettarda (talk) 01:32, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Looks good! Guettarda (talk) 14:38, 25 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]